Figured I could post another one quick. So I raved about this book I was reading earlier today, and already I dislike it. This is the problem. I love starting these books because I always feel like, "Yes! That's me! I can totally relate." (Regardless of how I feel now it still is a good book. I might have got a little scared when they talked about using shock therapy and recommending that the nervously-ill mom go live in a "stress-free" setting for two months.....Can I really do that? How about Hawaii or Florida?) Remember, the copyright date is 1969. We've made lots of advances since then, but I really do believe 2 months in a stress-free setting would be wonderful for anyone...Being welcomed back to reality...I don't know how well that would go though. All jokes aside, I know there are places like that and I guess if it got to that point, I would definitely try it (of course on a loan from my parents). :)
So they give you a strategy to try and I try it for a few hours and feel defeated when it doesn't work instantly. Well, my logical mind says that that would seem pretty common. Your brain has been hard wired to be a bit anxious most of the time, and overly anxious some of the time, so do you really expect to learn how to not be anxious in a matter of hours?! Get real, right!
Well, I do. So....I'm going to compare this to learning a foreign language. I've spoke English all my life just like I've practiced being a little bit of a worrier all of my life. I took two years of Spanish in high school. I watch LOTS of Dora. I can speak Spanish a tiny bit...numbers, colors, ABCs, a few Dora phrases, but after 2 years of practicing it in high school I'm really no better at it now than before I took those Spanish classes. Why? Because I don't practice it. If I did practice, I'd make a few mistakes. I'd learn along the way. Being immersed in it would be best.
So, learning to not be anxious is pretty similar. Why would I expect myself to be an expert at being anxiety-free after an hour of reading a book. Patience my dear! Ups and downs are totally normal. Nothing to beat yourself up over. Each time the anxiety is overwhelming you need to look at it as a learning opportunity, not a setback.
You may have noticed the constant communication going on in my brain in the way these posts turn out. I think it is a bit funny, because it does really give you a look at all that my brain is analyzing every minute of every day. To those of you that don't experience anxiety (like my husband), I'm sure you find this all a bit.......I don't know....confusing, exhausting, humorous......I'm not offended. I don't understand how you men can be obsessed with sports either. I don't think I will ever get it, just like many will never really understand the grip of anxiety.
And rest assured, since this intense anxiety found me a little over 3 years ago, I would say 80% of my life has been at a very normal stress level and 20% has been a little bit clouded by this beautiful mess called anxiety. I need to be reminded of frequently.
Elyse needs to wake up soon or this momma will be exhausted with all this thinking. I know I could clean the house, pick weeds, bake something, but unfortunately, it is Sunday and I need to keep this day work-free. ;)
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