Oldie but Goodie

I ordered a book off Amazon and haven't been able to put it down since it arrived in the mail yesterday. For anyone who would like to better understand what anxiety, excessive anxiety, feels like, this is the book to read. It is old, like 1969 old, but it is the best resource I have found yet for understanding anxiety. Knowledge is power. The title is "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes.

Several chapters in this book ring so true to me, that I am hopeful, with this thinking I can make some big changes. One of the chapters talks about "That Dreaded Morning Feeling." She hits the nail on the head there. It isn't that I don't want a new day, it is just that I don't want a new day filled with anxiety.

This morning is a wonderful one! Very little anxiety....I'm practicing acceptance as Dr. Weekes suggests saying that by merely accepting the strange feelings in your body without judging them, questioning them, or worrying about them, you can take away their power and go on with your day. I've been practicing this in simply saying, "You can be here. I accept this feeling, but I am not able to let you stop me from______ right now."

Aside from the actual strategy that she is teaching in the book, my other favorite chapter is "Three Good Friends: Occupation, Courage, Religion." After reading this chapter, I finally felt like I wasn't just a weirdo. This is what I hear over and over, "You're so lucky to be a teacher! You get the whole summer off? Are you enjoying your summer?"

"Um..ah...well, yea! It's going great!" But in my mind, I'm saying something totally different. I'm thinking, "I know I should be enjoying summer. Many people would love to have the summer off, so why can't I just enjoy it." I do enjoy having time for fun family outings, appointments, reading good books, and enjoying the summer sunshine, but it is the idle time where I'm not sure what to do that gets the best of me.

Here is the paragraph in this book that was a huge "Ah Ha!" moment for me, "As I have so often stressed before, idleness, to a nervously ill person, can be torture, each moment an eternity, and the strain almost unbearable. The exhausted mind races agitatedly and yet watches each second pass. No amount of self-chastisement can stop it. It seems almost beyond the powers of the sufferer to free himself from this situation, unless he has some crutch on which to rest his tired mind. Occupation in the company of others is his best crutch."

We've been on summer break for a few weeks now, and slowly my body is figuring it out, but it takes a lot longer than I would like. Thinking about the fact that we still have the entire month of July and most of August is extremely overwhelming. So for today, I'll only think about today. Have no fear, when September is here, I'll miss summer and want it back, but I know that working a job is best for my mind and my body. I can focus my energy elsewhere and the anxiety takes a back seat. I love it!

Happy Sunday! The sun is shining brightly, the birds are singing, and today will be a great day!