This Mess is Blessed

I love waking up in the morning lately. There are no thoughts of how tired I am. There are no thoughts about when I will be able to take a nap. And I'm even waking up about an hour before Elyse so I have quiet time to eat breakfast, check the news (Facebook), and even sit on the deck for a bit. 

Instead of waking with a body filled with negative anxiety, I wake with a body filled with positive excitement looking forward to what we are going to do today. Go for a walk, pull weeds, play in the yard, go out for supper with family, and just enjoy a beautiful Sunday. 

Looking back on the past 2 months I still have a hard time accepting that my body and mind were in such a different place. Today when I know that a panic attack is not even a possibility, I wonder why it was a possibility back then, and even scarier, will it return? Was it because of all the built up stress, was is really due to the wheat and sugar in my diet, have I just learned to relax in summer, is Dr. Troy really fixing these physical symptoms and will they stay fixed, was it hormones related to the pregnancy? 

We should not dwell on the past, but we should learn from it. I wish there was a simple test to tell what exactly was the cause of that anxiety episode, but in my heart I know it was probably a combination of built up stress on the body and when the body is wound that tight for so long, it will take the body time to unwind as well.

Another helpful thought that I read earlier this week was something along the lines of this: Comparing your situation or pain to someone else's to try and change your mood or attitude is not fair to you. Imagine telling your child with the stomach flu that there are children in Africa who are starving and would love to eat. It doesn't make sense. We can't relate and it doesn't make your child's pain any less. We need to treat ourselves with the same respect. Each of our challenges is different and comparing them isn't fair. 

Enjoy this day the best you can. If that means laying on the couch resting all day, then do it and feel good about it! You know what you need today, and so go out and do just that. You'll feel better after you do.