1 Week

It has been one week since I was told, "No sugar. No wheat," like it was a pretty common deal. Just like anxiety and depression, it is pretty common, but that doesn't really make it feel any better. I've had a few times in the last week where I thought I might jump ship and drive to DQ for a sugary blizzard or even eat just a regular piece of toast, but I've made it this far, and ...drum roll.... I am feeling better. And  there is actually food out there still for me to eat. It takes a little more thought and planning. Gluten-free bread is a lot more expensive and I still need to figure out the cooking and baking part of it all...especially baking without sugar. I'll get there....only a week into this. It will take time.

I was a skeptic. I still am a little bit. Of course, being the worrier that I am, I'm a little hesitant to jump on board and say this is the ultimate fix, but I really do believe this gluten stuff is a big piece of the puzzle. I've been feeling the effects of gluten assuming that it has been "just anxiety" this whole time. I do know that I am an anxious person, that I tend to have unrealistic worries, that I ruminate over thoughts, and that I'm a pretty sensitive person, but I believe that gluten is causing my body to let these anxious tendencies get out of control. Because I like talking to my therapist and feel that I still have a lot of perfectionistic qualities to work on getting rid of, I will continue to see her. I am by no means saying that once I am gluten-free I will be healed of all worries, but I am noticing that it does have a lot of influence on my energy level and mood. So does eliminating the sugar. This girl can't even have one cup of coffee because it puts her through the roof, why would I think consuming large amounts of sugar would be any different. Well, because for me, sugar tastes great and takes away stress (or so I thought not realizing it was actually creating more).

If you want to look into it more, do a little research on leaky gut and leaky brain. Not a lot of information out there, but what I've read makes a lot of sense for me. I just wish everyone with depression, anxiety, fatigue, asthma, chronic pain, weight problems, head aches, constipation, ADHD, autism, etc. etc. etc. (basically any ailment you can think of), could go to Synapse and see one of the doctors there. I know three other people who go there, and they praise this place up and down just like I do, thanking the doctors for giving them their life back!

Today was the first day, in I don't know how long, that I actually wanted to get up and go for a walk. Each day my energy level gets a little higher and higher. Yesterday, for the first time in probably a month, I vacuumed. For the past couple days I haven't even woke up thinking about when I might be able to lay down for a nap. It has been so long since I've felt like this, and I'm really enjoying it, without getting too over zealous!

All of this still doesn't take away my fear of having postpartum depression again though. Dr. Troy has told me that I will be feeling so much better when that baby comes, but I know that PPD has some serious power and I'm not sure if being gluten and sugar free will keep that away. But I'm praying, I'm hopeful, and I'm armed with more knowledge and resources now than I could have ever imagined. I'm going to see a medical doctor on Thursday in the cities who deals specifically with postpartum depression. She's had articles published about her research and so I am hopeful that she can shed more light on that topic for me and we can set up a plan that will ease my worries related to that part of my birth plan.

Have a wonderfully HOT 4th of July!